Defeat...

don't get me wrong, i love who i a, i lve my friends an family, but i hate the woorld at times.
the song oridenary girl by miley cyrus comes to mind;
Sometimes I'm lazy
I get bored
I get scared
I feel ignored
I feel happy, I get silly
I choke on my own words
I make wishes, I have Dreams
And I still want to believe
Anything can happen in this world,
For an ordinary girl..
its as if the world is turning its back, i am admiting defeat. defeat of what kind, i am unsure. but i am adiment its a form of deaft. lost in translastion. translation, of love; life; hate; everything!
i feel the need for something with dependence n me. 
a child?
a dog? 
i have the boyfrined of 9 and half months, and the friends,
the family,
but do i seek more.
am i just fearing, heartbrake-
                          --lonelyness--


Sleep,  that just leads to the strange endless dreams.
dreams of unreal possabiltys,
hopeless lve fades.
will this feeling be diognost. 
or forgetten. 
-- DEFEAT IS ACCEPTED --